A Benevolent Hitchhiking Robot Bent On Spreading Peace Was Decapitated In Philly

Life.

Comes.

At. 

You.

Fast.

"Hitchhiking robot that relied on human kindness found decapitated" is arguably the funniest shit I've read in this glorious year 2015.  Dude made it through Canada and parts of Europe, but as soon as he touches down in Philly, he gets his robot head cut off and his limbs strewn about in a gutter somewhere god damn.  But let's be honest, whoever lead this robot to Philly has to be somewhat at fault here.  On a hitchhiking tour of the United States, I'm pretty sure you can leave Philadelphia off the list and things would be quite alright.  I mean, they booed Santa Clause and cheered Michael Irvin breaking his neck on the football field so of fucking course they're going to decapitate a hitchhiking robot.  If this robot somehow survived, it would have been the upset of the century.  With all due respect to Philadelphia, of course.

Look, I'm not saying this has to do with Philly's reaction to Meek Mill's demise last week, but I am saying Drake probably killed this robot.