The Good Enough Podcast #5: The Jeff Lorenzen Episode

Welcome back.  Work's trash.  This podcast is slightly less trash.  Listen.

Table of Contents:

-Taylor Swift might be worth switching to Apple Music?
-Getting old, teens are scary
-Casual racism
-Bebop and Rocksteady, TMNT
-Godzilla was bad
-Jared from Subway
-Deez Nuts
-Eat a lobster roll from McDonalds
-We're going to Kansas to Catfish everybody?

Heroic Raccoon Climbs 700 Foot Crane For The Sole Purpose Of Pooping Off Of It

My god, what a hero.  If that's not a "On my way to steal your girl" face, I don't really know what is. On second thought, this might be a "ZOMG I just climbed 700 feet to the top of this crane without opposable thumbs and I've got to take a shit" face, but who's really counting here.

Got to give this guy some credit.  He sought out a challenge, put himself in position to succeed, and won.  Once you disregard the fact that "winning" means high altitude dumpage and start to appreciate this little critter for his willpower and determination, life suddenly starts to make sense.  And, to be honest, if you replace pooping with peeing, I'm right on board with this plan.  Don't lie, fellas. There was nothing more satisfying than peeing from a distance.  Personally, I used to stand outside of the bathroom door and see if I could pee in the toilet, so I completely see where this raccoon was coming from.  

No matter how much we talk about technological and social advancements, it's evident that society isn't fully ready for next-level extreme excrement.  SMH.

THE GOOD ENOUGH PODCAST Episode 4

Introducing the GOOD ENOUGH Podcast.  We finally got a name.  It's not bad, it's not great.  It's good enough.  There we go.

Table of Contents:

Boston is Bougie

AC Juice falling from the sky

Philly, what happened?

Did we invent a new sport?

Summer kinda sucks.  Admit it, it does.

"Oh We Have Giant Snails Now" May Be The Last Straw For Florida

Oh.  This is wonderful.  Not like snails are gross or anything.  Let's just make them 10x their normal size and have them live in the trees in our neighborhood.  :-)

Fuuuuuuuuuuuck all of this, yo.  This really might be the last straw for Florida.  As a state, as a structural entity, as an ensemble of atoms - I want Florida out of here.  First you had that dude eat another dude because he was on Florida manufactured drugs and now this.  No three-strike system when it comes to tree-dwelling snails that can poop on me and give me meningitis.  No siree.

My first reaction to seeing a SIGN telling me that there are GIANT LAND SNAILS in the area would be very similar to this:

Not even going to get into that second picture up top.  Just going to smooth avoid it and act like I never uploaded it.  Denial is the best strategy here.

It's time:

A Benevolent Hitchhiking Robot Bent On Spreading Peace Was Decapitated In Philly

Life.

Comes.

At. 

You.

Fast.

"Hitchhiking robot that relied on human kindness found decapitated" is arguably the funniest shit I've read in this glorious year 2015.  Dude made it through Canada and parts of Europe, but as soon as he touches down in Philly, he gets his robot head cut off and his limbs strewn about in a gutter somewhere god damn.  But let's be honest, whoever lead this robot to Philly has to be somewhat at fault here.  On a hitchhiking tour of the United States, I'm pretty sure you can leave Philadelphia off the list and things would be quite alright.  I mean, they booed Santa Clause and cheered Michael Irvin breaking his neck on the football field so of fucking course they're going to decapitate a hitchhiking robot.  If this robot somehow survived, it would have been the upset of the century.  With all due respect to Philadelphia, of course.

Look, I'm not saying this has to do with Philly's reaction to Meek Mill's demise last week, but I am saying Drake probably killed this robot.