Puppy-Sized Spiders Are A Thing

WUT.  

First off, nah, yo.  Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah.  Nope.  Absolutely not. 

Introducing the Goliath Birdeater spider - he will steal your wallet, smack you in the face, threaten your family and spit on you before he walks away.  We almost have to think about the mathematical implications here.  The less rain forest devastation = an increase in spiders that will mug us on the streets.  I'm not saying we need to start the ignition to these bulldozers, but I am saying that we should at least get Hagrid on the scene to confer on what needs to be done here.  I guess what I'm trying to stress is, I'm not trying to get fucked up by a spider.  Is that too much to ask?

(I'm SHOCKED that the person's hand in the picture is of the Caucasian ethnicity.  SHOCKED.)