Boob Squeezing Simulators Are Here And They're As Weird As You Thought

Bags of sand, bro.  Bags of sand.

Welp, no going back from here, folks.  Yes, I realize it's Monday and we just went THERE, but I think this was important viewing for a number of reasons:

1)  Japan has left us in the Stone Age as far as weird sex shit goes.  I'm kind of upset about that from a patriotic standpoint.

2)  If (LOL, "if") this kid ever gets to the point in life where he touches real human breasts, I'm pretty sure he's going to be wildly confused/terrified if the girl is not in the arms-over-head position.

3)  How do you win this game?  Seriously, asking...for a friend.

4)  Did NOT like any of the sounds going on in this video one bit.  From the weird dubbed computer voice to the sound of the anime chick giggling, I feel like I need to go to church and take a shower.

5)  Have to give props to the Oculus business model, though.  The untapped market of repressed, introverted, and sexually frustrated teens and young twentysomethings is quite possibly a one trillion dollar industry.

Happy Monday!