This Fine-Ass Carrot Just Put You Ladies On Notice

Yeah, I'm attracted to a carrot, so what?  That's where I'm at in life right now.  I call it "evolving", but my attraction preferences aren't the point here.  The issue at hand is the fact that this deformed carrot is stuntin' on you ladies very aggressively right now.  If this isn't a kick in the butt that summer is finally here, I don't know what is.  You don't want to go outside knowing that something from the produce aisle has it put together better than you.  No pants, slut boots, chillin' with no makeup on, that's the way I like my veggies, I hope that you don't take this wrong.

PS - This is likely NSFW, but if this isn't safe I never want to be safe again.