This has officially gotten ugly. For the uninitiated, this battle has been going on for a long, long time. Dead serious, I almost got into a fight in college over toilet paper related tension.
I'll be honest, I'm a toilet paper snob. It's the one thing I will absolutely ball out for. Actually, I lied. I also ball out for pancake/waffle syrup, but that's another battle. Think about it - there is no more sacred ground than your butt. You can't mess around and get some elementary school bathroom grade T-P. Shit might give you leprosy or something.
Let's go to the video tape pictures that I found on the internet after two seconds of Google searching:
Charmin:
Charmin's "Does a bear shit in the woods?" subtle advertising trick is fucking disgusting. I can't sit down for dinner at night and watch a bear pick toilet paper speckles from his butthole and not feel like throwing up a little bit. Shit's gross.
Cottonelle:
Mannnnnn, wut? This is just cheating by Cottonelle. Almost disrespectful to our creative palettes. Like,
Marketing Guy #1: "Hey, people like dogs"
Marketing Guy #2: "Yeah...they definitely do"
Chief Marketing Officer: "Then let's literally put a dog on every single bag of toilet paper that we sell"
(All of them collectively): *high five and do a bucket of cocaine*
I love pups, but dammit, this just doesn't make a lot of sense. (But those 'soft ripples' make so much sense)
"Oh my god, Dub, those tweets are clearly fake" - the Internet. If you don't think I know that, you don't know the wild wild west of blogging. And of course, shots were still fired by Charmin.
@socarolinesays yup. Too bad it's fake. Besides, if we're gonna tweet to someone, they have to be worthy...#tweetfromtheseat
— Charmin (@Charmin) March 24, 2014
We're sassy, not cruel. Sorry internet.... It's fake. #tweetfromtheseat
— Charmin (@Charmin) March 24, 2014
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