Penis Church Just Putting a Beatdown on All Other Churches

h/t  HuffPost

Power move of all power moves.

Think the Christian Science Church (that's a thing) is in a downward spiral? Not quite the pinnacle of power they once were? Not quite. Seen their dick lately, bro? This church in Illinois just happens to be the biggest unit this side of the Mississippi. Or the other side. I'm not really good with geography.

Point is that this might be the best decision the Church of Christ, Scientist has ever made. Anyone and everyone who values a good power move is signing up. And probably a few disgraced priests too. But hey, any publicity is good publicity, right?

...right?