Friday, November 8, 2013

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Mayo on a Sausage Egg and Cheese Bagel: Psychopath or No Psychopath?


So I went to the local breakfast place this morning to celebrate bombing my morning exam. Because I'm a man's man and don't worry about getting skinny fat (no that picture isn't me, shut up), I went sausage egg and cheese bagel. Classic greasy breakfast choice for any occasion.

Here's where madness struck. The waitress brings me out my sandwich and a bottle of water. I take a look under the top bagel half and what do I see? Fucking  mayonnaise. Now don't get me wrong, I love mayonnaise. I'll slop that shit on subs, eat it when it's on a Wendy's burger or something, hell I'll even have it with chicken nuggets. But what kind of a goddamn psychopath puts it on a sausage egg and cheese? A serial killer, that's who.

So here I sit at the breakfast place, nervously eyeing up this sandwich. I can see the waitress looking at me out of the corner of her eye like Jeffrey Dahmer stalking a victim. This shit's probably roofied or something.

Back me up here, guys. Mayo on a sausage egg and cheese: psychopath or no psychopath?


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