Be Thankful For Your Devices Because Nothing Else Matters

This is the time of year to reflect on everything we're grateful for. Family, friends, warm shelter, access to food, clean syringes, whatever. But all that stuff is meaningless. If you didn't have an iSomething you couldn't text and FB the ones you love, because who actually uses their phone to talk? Landlines called and they want their monopoly on verbal conversations back, but no one answers unfamiliar numbers. Even my mom prefers texting, totally ruining this hilarious meme. She ruins everything.

If you didn't have a device, how would you find your way outside without navigation, let alone to a store? Google Maps is ruining good senses of direction for you Rand McNallys like Microsoft Word ruined spelling for school-wide bee champions like myself (two-years in a row, bitches).

I don't know about y'all, but my phone is like a baby. I keep it silent and within reach. I sleep with it under my pillow like a gun. Because if there's an intruder, I think there's an app for that. 

I love my phone so much my boyfriend walks out of the room and says, "Thanks for letting me hang out with you guys."

If my phone was actually a live grenade about to explode, I'd scramble to check my email one last time. 

But this, I don't know. If it was a chicken, it would shit all over my life. 

I think this is where the line is.