It's Official: The Marines Have Been Hit The Hardest By The Government Shutdown

Enough is enough.  It has finally hit home for me.  Sure, it doesn't explicitly mention that the Marines can't masturbate BECAUSE of the Government Shutdown, but it doesn't have to.  The writing is on the walls, along with lots and lots of bodily discharge.

Do you know how many people are going to see this notice, say "Fuck it" and proceed to porta-potty masturbate?  Everyone.  Absolutely every single male and female in the force. This may go down as the most broken rule of all time when it's all said and done.

Don't mess with masturbation, America, or else you'll find a military facility covered in crispy socks and balled up t-shirts.