There Are DJ Classes For Babies Now

Because it's never too early to mold a douchebag.  

Fedora? Check.  Mixer that doesn't really do anything? Check.  Macbook Pro that allows you to switch songs on iTunes essentially rendering everything you do useless? Check.

Poor kid.  He's an asshole before he can even formulate exactly what an asshole is.  Never had a chance.  All he has to look forward to is a future of wearing large headphones that may or may not be connected to anything, moving knobs that change nothing, and waving his hand in front of a crowd of twentysomethings on Molly.  Oh, and he might even have some emotionless sex with a drugged out girl that "really liked his set."

There's no faster track to getting beat the fuck up than being the kid who DJs in elementary school.  If you're not playing an actual sport, the guys are playing tag, the girls are jumping rope and the poorly adjusted introverts are digging dirt in the corner (I was a dirt digger until age 8 so I have perspective, guys).  If you don't fit in this mold, I'm pretty sure everyone just wants to fight you.  Not a good look getting beat up by the dirt digging kids, DJ baby.  Not a good look at all.

PS. Wait, these classes are in Brooklyn?!!  Color me shocked.  That'd be the place I'd least expect something like this to happen.