First things first, I need, at the very least, 12 of these things running around my apartment. Pure FAFs*. Sure, maybe they're dangerous, poop rampantly and have short lifespans, but those are things that you deal with when you make irrational impulse decisions. It's like all the benefits of a tiny bear without the added drawback of dying a terrible death.
My ownership of these creatures is not the point of this blog, though. The point is that scientists decided to call these things "Oliguito"s. You'd think we were naming a chain of family friendly Italian eateries and not furry little pettable monsters. Listen, scientist bro. You can't just name an entire species after your great grandfather. Probably the least cute name in the animal kingdom.
Options:
Puffballs
Fur Demons
Mini-Bears
Ewoks
That's it. All you had to do was name it something childish and it would've worked. Hate scientists.
*Furry as Fuck
PS. Oh, they're in the raccoon family? Please, please, please tell me they do this
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