Has Anyone Heard Of A Drink Called A "Crimson Fizz"? Because It Defined My Weekend

Yeah, that's an orange peel.  Pure opulence in the rawest of forms.  

I went out to DC this weekend for an engagement party and obviously felt like I had to step my game up in all facets of life.  Sure, maybe the result of me "stepping my game up" resembled getting too drunk, twerking to "Baby Got Back" in front of the parents of the future bride and groom, and eating 2 pounds of chili, but the silver lining might be my impeccable brunch drink order.  Every dude was trying to be a hero and suffer through a Bloody Mary even though exactly zero of them liked it.  Being the forward-thinking, societal trailblazer that I am, I ordered the brightest, flimsiest looking drink on the menu solely because the word "pomegranate" was used.  Fuck if I know what a pomegranate looks like or even if it's a fruit or a vegetable, but I'm going to order it every time it's associated with a cocktail.

Moral of the story: you're out of your mind if you think the Crimson Fizz is a chick drink.  It's 2013.  There is no such thing as "chick" or "guy" anything.  Have you seen sunglasses, v-neck shirts, capris, and tank tops lately?  Androgynous is in.  I'm just trying to get you all hip to things before you're the lame standing in the corner drinking a Bud heavy because you don't know how to live your life.