Chappelle's Best Skits, Ranked (Pt. 2)

If you missed Part 1 of the most important thing I've ever written, here's the link. Not gonna waste any time getting into Part 2. There will be hyperbole. Let's go.

10) Mad Real World - This skit mixes Tron and a Charlie Murphy character. Somehow, I didn't mention Charlie in the first post, but I have a general rule: Charlie Murphy makes things 500 percent better than they actually are. His character in this, who is #1 on the list of "People You Would NEVER Want To Live With You," may be his best non-Buck Nasty character. He's the best.

9) Fear Factor - Tyrone Biggums goes onto Fear Factor and does a bunch of Tyrone things. He naps in a coffin of worms and bugs with a newspaper. He walks on hot coals and screams, "MY FEET ARE STRONG!" He gets way too excited when he's about to eat elk penis in a light cream testicle sauce. He buys his girl a massive crack rock. Joe Rogan is in it. It's great.

8) Black Bush - Black Bush was funny when it came out. It has my favorite line in Chappelle history ("Stankonia said they're willing to drop bombs over Baghdad"), and it features Jamie Foxx AND Mos Def as Black Tony Blair and the Black Head of the CIA. And there's some black dude. It was all funny...and then a black man got elected President, and the thought of him acting like Black Bush (even though there's no way he does) makes this skit 100x funnier.

7) The Racial Draft - A reminder, for those who don't know: The Black Delegation drafted Tiger Woods. The Jews drafted Lenny Kravitz. The Latinos drafted Elián González. Whites drafted Colin Powell, who wasn't white, but the Black Delegation gave him away. And Condi Rice. And they let the whites keep Eminem, as long as they got OJ Simpson. And then, when it couldn't get any crazier...the Asians selected the Wu-Tang Clan. The outtakes are awesome. We're done here.

6) The Niggar Family - It's a white family whose last name is exactly what you think it is. Watch it. Their milkman is Dave and he has WAY too much fun with their last name (there are terribly offensive jokes about pork and paying bills). It's Dave's most brilliant skit, aside from #1 on this list. It was also on the second episode of the show. Dave has balls, man.

5) Rick James - It gave us the most famous line in the show's history ("I'm Rick James, bitch"), but that line also semi-ruined Dave's life. While the skit is great, it's Charlie Murphy's bizarre story telling that makes this so fantastic. And the fact that, you know, based on Charlie's story, this happened.

4) Pixies - Just kidding. This skit made Dave quit the show. It's evil and I hate it.

4) The Player Hater's Ball - The intro. Ice-T. All the insults. The photo flip, where Dave/Silky Johnson says Rosie O'Donnell wears underwear with dick holes in 'em. It has Patrice O'Neal *pours one out*. It's a magnificent work of art. I laugh harder each time I watch it.

3) Wayne Brady - If Wayne Brady was replaced with, say, Charlie Murphy or one of Dave's rapper friends, this skit isn't funny. At all. But Wayne Brady -- who, according to Paul Mooney, makes Bryant Gumbel look like Malcolm X -- transforms this skit from "funny" to "life-altering." He has hoes, he gives Dave PCP, he makes someone utter the phrase, "OH SHIT, IT'S WAYNE BRADY, SON!" before Wayne guns him down in cold blood. It makes Wayne Brady look like a hard ass mother fucker, which is the skit's greatest accomplishment.

2) Prince - Again, it features Charlie Murphy. But Dave dresses like Prince. He talks like Prince. He plays basketball. Micki Free is in it. He makes everyone pancakes. Like Rick James, this skit is 100x funnier because it's not a made up story, this (allegedly) actually happened.

1) Clayton Bigsby - This is easily the most absurd premise of any Dave skit, but it's a surprisingly simple one. A character that's a white supremacist, a hero of the KKK...only he's black and doesn't know it. He says the most disgustingly racist things I've ever heard. He takes his hood off at a KKK meeting and a dude's head explodes. He wrote four published books, each one with terrifyingly racist names. He divorces his wife of 19 years for being an n-word lover. It's perfect.

But most of all, it's that this skit balanced social commentary on race and humor perfectly than anything before, during or after the show's run. Dave made it ok to discuss race this way, and he made it hilarious. It is his My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy: a brilliant work that will define him for generations. This was also in the first episode. The last skit in the first episode was Clayton Bigsby. Wrap your mind around that. It's the best debut since Illmatic.

With Clayton Bigsby, Dave burst onto the scene. He took things like political correctness and shit all over them. People have tried to replicate Dave over the years, and all of them failed. There will never be another Dave Chappelle. Now make season four, dammit.