Before I dive in, have to drop a big "I'm sorry" to the girlfriend, but I have to do this. It's Martha Stewart. It's white Oprah! Now excuse me while I spit the illest of game in Marth's grill. I call her Marth because we already have a connection. Through the internet.
Grade-A, #1, Guaranteed Plan to Win Marth's Heart:
1) Make a joke about the "Wink for free" button
- "Girl, there is no dollar amount that can equal winking at you." ; )
2) Small talk her into submission
- "No Martha, I've never heard of you, silly. Stop asking me that." *Birdman hand rub*
3) Find a common-ground
- "What fool would divorce you? You're very beautiful and it's pretty evident that you work out, so that's just plain poppycock."
4) Make her feel comfortable about the age difference
- "If you didn't list your age, I'd guess 39-43."
5) Disarm her with charm and humor
- "HA! I'm a social drinker only when I'm not drunk. Am I right?!"
6) Invite her to something she likes to do based on her interests
- "I saw some soil around my apartment, wanna plant something?"
7) To the victor goes the spoils
- "Honey, I can put this Playstation 4 on your credit card, right? Thanks! And yes, Working Man's Diary IS my job, you know that. Silly goose"
Done and done. I'll be hanging with Jay-Z and Bono by the end of June.
0 Reactions to this post
Add CommentPost a Comment