I'm Obviously Going To Analyze Ray J's "I Hit It First" Music Video

I never had a choice....

First things first, here's the video:

It's an eerie combination of awful and stupendous at the same time.  Like watching a horrific car crash, finding out no one got hurt and seeing newborn kittens emerge from the rubble.  That's exactly how I felt while I watched this.

Pretty sure I had an aneurysm and that lead me to tweet that this video should win two VMAs, a Razzie, a Pulitzer, a Purple Heart and be banned from Youtube at the same time.  Ray J is the hero we needed, but didn't deserve.

Not all rappers go to the club, Ray.  C'mon.

Nailed this part though.  ALL semi-ambiguous white dudes go to the park to dunk by themselves.

"Yeah, I know this video is making you question everything in your life right now"

"There's no way that any of this can end badly!"

Tupac hologram > Reboot > Fake Kim hologram

Fake Kim really looks like Kim though.  You know, before she got fat and gross and stuff.

SUBLIMINAL MESSAGING

Jokes aside, who the FUCK is Bobby Brackins?  Skip his entire part, it takes away from the story.

Dancing in the apartment next to the hologram because again, THERE'S NO WAY THIS CAN END BADLY.

Legitimately proud of Ray J for coming up with the F! channel.

This comment IS the internet.

I need to take a bath.