Do You Honestly Think This Virtually Unchanged 14 Year Old McDonald's Burger Is Going To Scare Me?

If you answered "Yes", you win.  You win big because I'm fucking terrified.  I could literally eat that burger right now, knowing that it's 14 years old and the pickle has apparently disintegrated.

THE PICKLE HAS BEEN DEAD FOR YEARS.

Let that sink in for a second.  Now think about all the McDonald's that you've eaten in your life.  There was a period where I sometimes ate Mcdonald's 2-3 times a day because it was there.  Proximity is the sole reason why I have indigestible "meat" and "bread" sitting in my loins as I type this.  Maybe I'm stronger because of it and have some gross ass super power.  Maybe I have a powerful tapeworm living in me.  Who knows.  All I know is that I'm scared.  I'm not scared of the burger's longevity, I'm scared that I still want McDonald's and this burger in particular.

I'm not even hungry and I could eat that burger right now.  Just some really sad and surreal shit going on in WMD HQ right now.