Does Anyone Else Sound Like An Asshole When They Talk To Siri?

This is becoming a legitimate problem for me. No matter how hard I try, I always sound like somebody you'd want beat up whenever I talk to Siri. Even if I'm just trying to tell that bitch to wake me up in 20 minutes, it has to be in the most proper, borderline high-pitched tone I can muster. I just put some food in the oven and literally cleared my throat like 9 times before setting the alarm and still ended up sounding like Elmo an alleged pedophile puppet.

And you know Siri's judging, wondering if I can use some sort of cheat code to add more base to my voice.

Also, can't be happy when pictures like this surface shortly after you're about to publish the post: