Didn't Know The AMAs Were On Tonight And I'm Glad I Didn't

LAWD.

That's basically all there is to say to start things off. There is some real ugly, nasty stuff going on here and I'm not even going to try to make sense of anything. Let's discuss:

1) Dude in Green turtleneck/scarf combo on the left is all the way turn't up for the atrocities that are occurring.

2) The combination of standing on a ledge and looking the way she does means the singer is either Christina Aguilera or Nicki Minaj. No one wins.

3) The guy on the right didn't attend the choreography rehearsals and is stuck on punch-mode.

4) I'm pretty sure the words in the back are completely random and that there is a 75% chance of it all being Microsoft WordArt.

5) I have nothing to say about the boob-heaving, seizure-having, split-performing thing that took up most of the screen.

UPDATE: Just watched the last 5 minutes of the AMAs and saw Psy performing with MC Hammer to close out the show. In other news, music took itself out to the shed and shot itself.