The Mayans won. Santa Claus isn't real. The moon landing was fake. And no one's cat/dog ever mysteriously ran away. They died.
Nothing is right anymore, bacon has been compromised. How are their still the same amount of pigs, but less bacon?! Things aren't even trying to make sense right now. Farmers don't feel like herding? Well, shit, I don't feel like blogging right now and you don't see business plummeting over here.
What becomes of bacon cheeseburgers? Do we have to sell all of our stock in omelettes? So many depressing ass questions and all I can do is seethe in my own thoughts.
If any of you suggest "turkey" bacon, find the nearest roof and leap off.
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