"M-A-R-S, Mars Bitches. Red Rocks, Yayayeeee!!!"

Jokes aside, I literally have no idea what's going on. One day I woke up, checked Twitter, saw a bunch of Tweets about Mars, made the same Chappelle "Mars" related joke I made in the title, didn't read CNN, and was left confused. Well today, I decided to read CNN and predictably I'm confused. Straight befuddled to the n'th degree.

First things first, what the fuck is this:

We got a robot out here Instagramming dirt and NASA blasting it out using words like "findings" and "progress." I'm no expert, but it just looks like a lot of sepia.

It doesn't add up. We have pictures of nothing, Obama's acting like Black Bush and frankly I feel like I'm getting duped. Mars HAS to be super wack, too. No internet, TV, bars, or shit to blog about. It's hard enough finding decent topical stuff to talk about on planet Earth, I can't afford to blog about red fake dirt pictures all day.

If these pictures don't start looking like Disney's John Carter soon, "Curiosity" will be an absolute failure.