Working Man's Diary Is Starting A Kickstarter To Fund Being A Hatin' Ass Dude

Everywhere I turn, people are getting paid tens of thousands of dollars for no fucking reason. Blah blah, "My band needs money for studio time", "These kids made fun of me on the bus", "I have a cool app that needs marketing dollars." Well, I feel like I deserve to be paid a nice lump sum for all the consistent hate, kitten videos, and funny pictures I spew out.

What will I do with the money? Not sure yet, but I can say with certainty that I will NOT use any of it to improve the website or make the viewing experience better for any of you.

Here's what you want to hear:

-I'll pay new writers so the blog doesn't go unattended for days on end
-Improve the layout so it's more user-friendly and interactive
-Create a store with fun, inexpensive merchandise
-Throw WMD parties that require no cover and drink specials
-Help the community

Here's what I'll actually do:

-Crab rangoons
-Go HAM at Saks Fifth Avenue
-Bottle service
-Delete Working Man's Diary and never discuss it again
-Find and buy a SEGA Dreamcast
-Buy a minority stake in a WNBA franchise for $265

So..um..yeah, click here to donate. Thanks guys! Your money will help me realize my dream!