AW SHIT: This Thing Washed Up On The Manhattan Shoreline

Great googly moogly, what the fuck is that thing? It's like a Chupacabra and a Gremlin had a baby, the baby saw itself in the mirror, drowned itself and washed up on shore.

Tough week for my home city. First a ban on large sodas and mutated monster rat devil creatures washing up on shore when you're just trying to go for a jog in the morning. Nothing will knock the cool out of your step faster than tripping over this thing during a romantic walk along the beach.

"Hey man, how'd that date with the girl go last night?"

"Umm, well, evertyhing was great up until we tripped over this giant pig rat with a protruding tooth and structurally unstable limbs. Dinner was awesome though.

Things I've seen on the street during the last month:

-Vibrator
-Dead Rats/Cats/Birds/Unknowns
-So many condoms
-Hologram Pokemon Cards
-"Apples to Apples" box with a Swastika drawn on it
-A family portrait with three faces "X"d out

All that combined doesn't come CLOSE to this thing. BLOOMBERGGGGGGG