Observations And Thoughts From My 118th Viewing Of "The Lion King"

If you read this blog and "The Lion King" isn't in your Top 10 favorite movies, stop reading, close your web browser and reevaluate your life. Real talk, I can watch this movie every day until the day I die and not bat an eyelash, but something went down last time I watched this past weekend. Usually I watch like the 6 year old I was when I saw it, but this time I watched with the eyes of a 24 year old adult. My most recent viewing of The Lion King was mad real; sunglasses and Advil.

Thoughts and Observations:

1) Zazu was the most disrespected character in movie history.

-Scar temporarily ate him, spit him out, and everyone laughed about it and never addressed that moment again

-He got punked SO BAD by Mufasa after he rescued Simba and Nala from the Elephant Graveyard

-Simba B. Rabbit'd Zazu something fierce on "I Just Can't Wait" to be King. I also think "hornbill" is an ethnic slur for Zazu's bird species.

-No one thanked him for alerting the crew that Simba was in the stampede.

-Scar kept him inside the bones of a warthog for roughly 10 years. Damn.

2) Rafiki was on Bath Salts. Would not trust that motherfucker with my baby lion cub.

3) Ed the Hyena was clearly mentally retarded and no one addressed that. They just laughed at him whenever his eyes rolled back in his head.

4) Want. Mufasa. To. Be. My. Father/Uncle/Grandfather.

5) Yo, who was Nala's father? Was it Mufasa or Scar? Those were the only two dudes on Pride Rock. (Was Scar gay?)

6) Timon should have been killed two seconds into the fight on Pride Rock.

7) The cover of the movie, Mufasa's nose, is thong underwear.

8) I want to be a giraffe so bad.

9) I think the movie is better when you're grown and see the Nazi and racist undertones. Good flick.