Did This Nerd Chick Really Compose The Beginning Of The First Level Of Super Mario Bros. In A Cup Of Coffee?

First things first, that's hot chocolate. If not, it's the weakest cup of coffee, I've ever seen. Tan as shit. So much half-and-half. If this is real, the nerd in me is impressed and undoubtedly has an erection. The detail on that Koopa Trooper is Nobel Prize worthy.

But let's get to the real issue here. Super Mario Bros. level fucking one. Was it just me or was the start of this game abnormally difficult? Really put you in a pickle. Like, "Do I get the five coins/mushrooms in the brick and risk death via this turtle with anime eyes?" I'm not going to even front. I remember coming home all excited that I had a Nintendo and Super Mario--popped in the game, pressed "Start", went for the coins, died, and cried for the rest of the night. I literally had to be consoled because my plumber hero got brutally murdered by a lethargic turtle. You can probably see why I ended up being a blogger.