Hey everyone, drop what you're doing right now. Your 34th favorite candy just shook the entire world up. Blatant-yet-unadmittedly gay candy duo Mike & Ike have called it "quits" in order to stir up some sales.
That's like "Murder She Wrote" killing off the main character. No one under the age of 70 gives a shit. It's like the old adage, "If a tree falls and no one is around to hear it, did it make a sound?" Except, instead of twigs and shit, we're talking about a decent-at-best candy treat.
I don't know about you guys, but every time I got Mike & Ikes I fell into the most "meh" form of existence imaginable. Just candy purgatory. I felt nothing towards it. Wasn't excited, wasn't upset and didn't particularly feel a certain way when I finished them. A box of Mike & Ikes basically boiled down to time being taken out of my day.
While I applaud your attempt to rise from complete and utter mediocrity, I can't see this working one bit. In the event 33 other assorted candies aren't available, I may give you guys another run.
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