I Want To Be Like This Longboarding Wizard That's Holding Up Traffic So Bad

Now suspend belief and pretend this isn't a high-as-shit college junior that found a cane on the ground, dressed like a wizard, and most likely got arrested shortly after this.

You done? If so, this shit is absolutely fantastic. This Merlin motherfucker is killing it to an extent that few have reached. Moving at a smooth, herky-jerky, 6 MPH holding up traffic is literally all I want to do with my day. Excel? Pfft, give me a stick, a longboard, and some magic powers. Bet I'll be just a little bit happier.

Un-suspend belief now. How much do you hate this kid at your school? You know, that douchebag that tries to push boundaries and makes really aggressive efforts to be funny?

Hope they throw this dude in Guantanamo.