Umm, Manliest Dude Ever?

Just got emasculated all over the place. I honestly think I'd be more emotionally secure right now if I got beat up by a 12 year old girl than watching this video.

Real talk, I can't walk and text at the same time--legitimate problem. So seeing a dude wheelie a motorcycle in a Batman suit with 135 pounds in his hands is a little much for me. Kind of like when my mother brought me to her room one time when she was in the middle of watching "IT"--the fucking R-rated movie about a killer clown. Sure this would be fine now, but not when I was 3 and on a steady diet of Disney movies and Nick Jr.

Can't make me go from 0-60. I'm just not built for it. Maybe show me a video of this dude riding his bike normal, then a separate video of him benching, and finally a VERY instructional video on how someone can do both at the same time. Then and only then can I be mentally prepared to be put into the fetal position I'm currently in.

It may takes years for my balls to resurface.