Why Hasn't Facebook Asked Me To Switch To Timeline Yet?

^I feel you, little man. I'm trying to get the invite into social media duck-duck-goose too.

I, like most of you was up to my dickish tricks when Facebook announced they were "revolutionizing" social media and doing the timeline. I complained on Twitter, to my friends, on Facebook and through texts. Then the weeks went on and people started getting the timeline. Obviously, it looks complicated as shit and wildly impractical, but I'm definitely not quitting Facebook because of it. WAY too much creeping left to do. With that said, more and more of my friends were timelining it up and getting awesome scenic cover photos. Told myself I wasn't going to get jealous, but after a couple casual "awesome scenic picture" Google images searches, I realized one thing: why the fuck haven't I been invited to the timeline yet?

I've done all the right things. At this exact point that I'm typing this, I inexplicably have 3 Facebook tabs open. All on the home page. I'm a devoted creeper user and deserve at least some recognition for it. Maybe a, "Hey man, you use our site straight up too much--here's the option to change to the timeline." or something? Seriously, I've been in the game too long not to receive even a little consideration.

I feel like a basketball player that worked extremely hard in the off-season to improve his game, but never got a tryout. Except in a really creepy sort of way.