Unnecessary Vicious Reader Email: "I Bet You're Not Funny In Real Life"

Reader Email:

"Hey Dub,

Love the site, it's consistently hilarious. Unfortunately you probably aren't funny in real life. Sucks.

Keep it up,

XXXXX

In case you are wondering, I'm still in tears. Top 5 meanest thing someone has ever said to me. Built me up to shatter me into pieces.

One of my greatest fears when I meet someone who reads the blog is that I don't meet their expectations of funny. I borderline have to wear a clown costume and rock one of those flowers that sprays water. Maybe I'll just resort to Seinfeld jokes like, "What's the deal with Big Buck Hunter? You see the deer, you shoot the deer and you get points! I don't get it." I'm shook up as hell right now. Definitely having a legitimate split-personality situation right now.

Is Dub Jeezy cooler than whatever my real name is? There is a legitimate chance that I created a character that is straight up a more likable person than who I really am. If so, this will DEFINITELY become a Smiegal-Golem situation.

If this is a friend trolling me, you win. Mascara is running all down my cheek right now.