There's A 100% Certainty I'm Getting Hit By A Bicyclist This Year

^I WILL go out of my way to haphazardly swing every cab door open for the rest of my life.

It's a foregone conclusion that I am going to get my brains scrambled beyond belief by some clown riding a bike down the street this year. Instead of a New Year's Resolution, this is a New Year's Realization. I've successfully dodged like 35 "cyclists" this week alone. Chicks and dudes flying down the street all willy nilly like they're Schwinn fucking Armstrong with no disregard for human life.

What's the deal with rules and regulations on a bike? I know people said there's such thing as a BUI, but if you have the coordination and wherewithal to direct yourself on a Huffy, you're innocent in my book. A Youtube video waiting to happen. And what's up with traffic lights? 2, maybe 3% of bikers obey the traffic light, which leaves me in a lot of "limbo" like situations where I'm just wobbling in the street wondering what's going to happen. Granted some of it's my fault because no 24 year old dude should be wobbly out in the street, but in my defense there are TONS of lights flashing every which way. That red 'stop' hand is just a mystery. Sometimes it's up and the light is red and other times it's the opposite. Needless to say, the odds are stacked against me to get clipped before 2013.

PS. Took this pic like 7 months ago and knew it would come in handy some day.