Greatest Parents Ever

It goes without saying that I am not going to win Father of the Year at any point in my life. That said, I can also guarantee that I won't be rolling my baby around like a fucking suitcase through a crosswalk. Pretty sure I'd ball out on the extra $10 to get a seat belt in my stroller too.

We have to put some of the blame on this baby though. You can't dead fish your way through survival. I know your Mom is whipping you around like a miscreant, but you have to take action. Grab hold to something and don't plop on the ground like an asshole. Vegetable-ing on the pavement is the purest definition of giving up. Not even a roll to the sidewalk to evade the car. Despicable.

All in all, this shit was an overall catastrophe. Standard case of everyone on the court doing the wrong thing. For the first time since she left, I ask "What would Oprah say about this?"

She'd know what to do.