Excessive Exclamation Points

The spicy bitch in this e-card is speaking the realest of real talk and I can't help but respect her two-dimensional ass. People are exclaiming WAY too much these days.

Today I got a text message from a friend of mine that said, "Hope your vacation was fun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Lies. No human alive ever hoped anything was 30 exclamation points worth of fun. Seriously, if cave men could text back in the day and a meteor was falling from the sky, I still don't think that "Oh SHIT we all gon' die" text should have more than 4, maybe 5 exclamation points after it. People have too much power. Too much to the point that they're making a mockery of punctuation. We were given these tools to express ourselves, but like Spiderman's uncle said, "With great power, comes great responsibility." Sometimes it's the overzealous emailer, stressing how bad their day is with "OMG this day sucksss!!!!!" Other times it's an unreasonable Gchat that's literally just "!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" and you're at a loss at how to respond.

From the moment we learn that the SHIFT key combined with "1" key creates "!" we are at a crossroads. Some people take the conservative route and only use them in work emails and Facebook Happy Birthday messages. Others use them for pure annoying evil. We only do it at work because the technologically handicapped older generation can't understand emotion unless you show it through symbols and we do it on Facebook because we want you to write on our walls when it's our birthday. Don't choose the wrong side.

150 character texts where 135 of the characters are exclamation points? Throw your phone in the toilet.