My Thoughts On The "Intimacy 2.0" Dress That Claims It Flirts For You

Yet another case where women are wild'n out for no reason.

For starters, this has to rank as the most impractical item I've ever seen. When did girls need help flirting? I'm pretty sure that if the dress is tight, I'm going to talk to you and if the dress is really tight, I might get arrested. Bingo, bango, you have the pick of the litter ladies. No need for a fucking Technicolor Dreamcoat to get a dude to buy a shot for you.

Plus I don't really get the concept because that video was ambiguous as fuck. From what I gathered, the dress shows some boob when the girl is turned on. Girls show boobs anyway when they're turned on by a guy they like. Don't really see the need to skip a step in the hook-up process. I was doing terribly just fine without your help molester dress. Hold up. Wait a second, this shit could actually be a godsend. Like, the Itunes preview version of hooking up with a girl. Listen to the first minute of the song/see what the girls working with and determine if you want to buy the song/go home with her. I'm doing a 180 and making a bold statement that this is one of the most important items to surface in my generation. Removing doubt and letting dudes know what they're getting into before they have that awkward wake-up next to Splinter.

On a disgusting note, I can't imagine what the dude version of this would be. A button-down that directs your eyes to our crotch? I don't know, I need more time to think about this.

P.S. Studio Roosegaarde? Vowel city.