11:11 Wishes Are Complete And Utter Bullshit

In the social media hoopla that is 11/11/11, I have had to suffer through hearing what today is even though I have a functioning phone. People coming up to me like I've been in a coma for months letting me know how crazy it is that SO MANY number 1s appear in a date. And just when I was slowly recovering, the "11:11, make a wish" coalition started popping out of the woodwork.

Let's get one thing straight, if you're over the age of 10 and still making wishes when the clock strikes 11:11, you need to kill yourself. "OMG, I wish I become rich", then proceed to stick your head in the oven. I knew that shit was a sham the moment my mom preached that propaganda to me one day. Like, "Umm, Mom, why am I not in the NBA, NFL, and WWF right now. And why the FUCK am I still eating broccoli?" Didn't expect a 6 year old to drop that response on you, huh Mom? I was outrageously disappointed the day after my first wish. Had a scowl on my face all day and then started blaming myself like I did it wrong or something. Inner monologue-ing "Nah, you just didn't annunciate the word 'wish' correctly, you'll get it right next time." Nope. I'm not married to that dimepiece Jade from the 3rd grade. Not catching TDs in the Meadowlands or draining buzzer-beaters in MSG. Certainly not Stone Cold-stunning bitches on Monday night RAW. Instead I'm blogging during work hours.

Some ideas are cute and some are straight up unrealistic. File 11:11 wishes under bullshit.