Friends Ask Dub: "What Are You Going To Be For Halloween?"

Yup, Steven Q. Urkel. This mindfuck of a costume has been in the makings for a long time.

Family Matters filled the void that "The Fresh Prince of Bel Air" left when it went off the air. I craved the black family sitcom that knew how to joke around, but also taught me lessons about: handling firearms, not taking illicit drugs, rape, pregnancy, and other issues that were WAY too much for a 10 year old to digest. The show also featured an outlandish nerd named Steve Urkel that most certainly suffered from Aspergers Syndrome. No one seemed to address that, but there was definitely something wrong with him.

Now this costume took me years to do strictly because of one thing: laziness. I have to be one of the Top 5 laziests dude on the planet at this rate. I cook one big meal and just consistently pick at it throughout the week. I laundry ONLY when I run out of underwear. It's bad. So yeah, it basically took me a collective 14 years to muster up enough energy to buy suspenders and a set of "nerd" glasses with tape in the middle. The main issue that has developed aside from the ass that I'm not going to get, is the fact that shit is exposed in this costume. Like you can see all of my nether regions vividly and my suspenders make it virtually impossible to walk. It's ok though because this costume is essentially me proving a point to myself. Just a practice in letting myself know that I'm capable of actually...doing things.

All in all, the Steve Urkel costume is less about the people than it is about me. A test on whether I'm a productive person in society while being an alternate test on whether I can pull a girl while wearing this get-up because that'd be stupendously baller.