Friends Ask Dub: "Should I Go To A House Party Or To A Bar On Halloween?"

^if you're dressed like Gumby you probably don't have a party to go to or friends to hit a bar with.

That being said, I still don't have a costume. I've asked readers what I should be in years past and received absolutely nothing, so I'm not going to go down that road again. Instead, we are going to figure out what to do on that faithful night where literally everyone is trying to get some.

It comes down to house party vs. the bar--an age old battle that has no clear cut winner. As any great location should, the ratio has to be on fucking point. Nurses, school teachers, naughty angels, and general skanks not dressed as anything should be running around everywhere while you're swaggin' in your really creative costume. House parties provide a little more intimacy, a little more control, but probably not as many people (read: skanks). Bars are a lot hotter, louder, but have more variety. You just have to pick what you like more.

My answer: house parties. I'm perceived as cooler/funnier within a confined, established residence for some reason. Back in college, I went to the a party dressed as a "pirate", but actually looked like "Real" from "I Love New York 2" on VH1. Somehow I fucking killed it. Still don't understand how, but solely because of that night I'm a house party dude through and through. If you don't have a party though, the bar is a solid alternative. You do run the risk of paying the $50 cover and ending up chillin' wall to wall with mad Gumbys and fat chicks dressed as Snooki and Lady Gaga.

PS. My options are: Steve Urkel (for like the 8th straight year), Coffee Black from "Semi-Pro", Timon from "Lion King" (have no idea how the fuck to pull that off), a black dude from the 70s (just buy a 'fro). Halloween is very hit or miss.