Women Are Now The New League Leaders In Binge Drinking

"To deal with the extra pressures, some women "latched hold of alcohol as a coping mechanism because it is readily available and socially acceptable"

I'll start with an apology. I definitely could have found a better picture than a dead prostitute chillin' on a bench. It's just that when you type "drunk girl" into Google Images with safe-search permanently off, you can get taken to a very dark place. I feel this dead chick may have been the most appropriate picture. Moving on...

So ladies, it appears the tables have turned. I've been waiting literally 23 and 7/8ths years for this day. No more being nervous and stumbling my words. No more weird requests for phone numbers. My only job now is to stand there, look pretty, and put up diva hands with my friends when Katy Perry songs come on. I can go out at night with a sole agenda just to dance. Pressure is completely off. I'm ready to have binge drinking girls awkwardly start dancing behind me after creepily staring at me for 10 minutes and asking me if I want a Kamikaze shot. Also can't wait to legitimately have to worry about being roofied by a chick.

Time for guys to live the life of luxury. Free drinks, skipping lines with the fellas, and the all-mighty feeling of giving out a fake phone number are so close I can taste it.

Area code, Five-Five-Five-One-twenty-three-forty-five-sixty-seven bitches.