No Doubt In My Mind That This 75 Year Old Giant Lobster Has More Swag Than Me

^"he radiates a certain charisma..a crustacean charisma"

Are you kidding me? I can't believe a god damn lobster is cooler than me. It's not even close. Do you know how powerful "crustacean charisma" is? I don't either, but it has to be on some superhero shit. Because crustaceans are glorified bugs. I was discussing this with my friends last night. Lobsters are basically giant, armored, bugs. People just turn a blind eye to it, but it's a fact.

When I hear things like crustacean charisma, that basically equates to "cockroach/bumblebee/mosquito swagger" and immediately doesn't sound right. And it's pretty insulting. I'm trying to be a funny blogger that gives people something to read after they read all of their other favorite blogs, ESPN, every friend's facebook status, and 1534 people's twitter updates. I'm already up against a lot, we can't add a giant father-timeish lobster's to the mix or I'm finished.

Sidenote: how much does this dude cost to eat? Like a million dollars? A thousand gold bars?