What Maniac Brings Their Girlfriend(s) To Vegas?!

^oh wait, like 18 of the 20 people I'm going to Vegas with are in a relationship.

You see how many dudes are in that picture? Thousands. While that's super-weird and not a place that'd I would like to be at all, it's Vegas in a nutshell. An uncomfortable amount of dudes vying for a small, but exceptionally attractive amount of chicks. Throw in gambling, buffets, and the occasional trip to the Bunny ranch, and this shit has male written all over it.

Which brings me to the question: what lunatic would consider involving a girl, their significant other in that? I don't get it. My single friends and I are on a strict mission to either be: drinking, eating, in the pooling, actin' a fool on the dance floor, gambling, or hooking up. You will not see ya boy catching a Celine Dion concert (unless "My Heart Will Go On" is on repeat) or a Cirque de Soleil show. That's for when my soul has been ripped out by mortgages and children. Plenty of time for the "fun" stuff when I'm basically dead inside. For now, I will be a villain to the fullest form. A modern day Shredder or Lord Zedd if you will. I will make it my goal to have so much fun, that all my guys friends want to be me and that all the girlfriends will hate me because I'm discouraging activities.

Couples, I'm sorry, but part of my vacation will be making indirect efforts to make you uncomfortable in your own skin at all times. You may be pissed, but if you sit down and really think about it, it's your fault.