This is a god damn travesty. I've been saving my pennies for literally 20 years just hoping I wouldn't have to spend literally 2 1/2 hours at a Coinstar embarrassingly dumping pennies into a robot. What will become of these full-ass piggy banks strewn throughout my house?
It looks like I'm going to fall the fate of this guy. Getting fucking incarcerated for paying my portion of the Comcast bill with 4000 pennies. I don't know what else I'm going to do. I can't in good conscience throw out potentially millions of dollars of pennies in the trash. Do I donate it to a homeless dude? What will they do with it? If they buy nips with it, they're getting arrested--which in retrospect, isn't the worst idea.
You backed me into a corner, law enforcement. I'm forced to melt my coins and build the most baller copper skateboard in the game and scream out, "Fuck the Poe-Leece" with some Rob Dyrdek swag.
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