"Go The Fuck To Sleep" - As Read By Samuel L. Jackson

Finally the book that says what every parent is thinking about their 0-13 year old boy/girl. Parents are immediately sick of their kids within seconds of them popping out. Starting out like, "Oh my god, he's beautiful!!" (2 days later after not sleeping and cleaning up tons of poop) "....I don't even like you. You're ugly as hell too."

Samuel L. has always been real. Telling it like it is since sometime in the 1980s. I sent this to my mom and she hasn't stopped laughing because she can relate to this. According to her, little Dub was a terror in the purest form. Consistently down to aggravate and annoy for literally 24 hours. I would ask so many questions and walk away right as they were being answered. Pure dickhead tactics. Literally woke my mom up at like 5:30am on some random Saturdays because I couldn't adequately poor orange juice correctly--and I wasn't even thirsty! I'd just mention that shit to her and walk away. Even though you got hooked up on Mother's Day, this is a secondary belated gift for you.

Listen to it 100 times and just erase the memories of the past.