Pardon the gross picture of these bug dudes, but I feel I'd be doing a disservice to you guys if I let you get cicada'd. If one of these things flies into my face, shit may just go black. I'll be in a state that's neither alive or dead. A peanut shell without a peanut in it.
These assholes were apparently living underground for 13 years because they age..like humans? Not exactly positive on the details, but that doesn't sound good for us when they decide to come out. You realize how many evil, twisted plots you can develop in 13 years? So many. These diabolical bastards are going to crush the scene like sorority sluts at computer camp. Ruining crops, infrastructure, and lives--that's what cicadas do. The only thing in our favor is the fact that these cicadas still think it's 1998. They're going to be trying to log-on to AOL and baffled by the idea of cellphones. It's literally our only hope. Got to Twitter the shit out of these born-to-annoy bastards.
But seriously, if one of these things flies in my face, God help us all.
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