Are you kidding me? The report said the kid was saying "hello" and "goodbye" to the fucking walls. That had to be the funniest thing I've ever heard. What's with all these parents posting videos of their babies giggling at stupid shit and riding Roombas while completely overlooking opportunities like this one at Applebees. This video that didn't happen would have 170% won Funniest Home Videos last week. Probably a dude getting hit in the balls with a free-wheeling toddler going after a piñata.
For the kid, this is free reign. You're drunk and you can do anything, and I mean ANYTHING you want. Any and every swear is fair game. "Sorry Mom, I'm twisted off of spiked Apple Juice and I want some MOTHERFUCKING mozzarella sticks." Brings a whole new meaning to "I remember my first beer." Rocking a 0.10 BAC at age 3 like a baller. Granted he almost died, which he will undoubtedly leave out of the story when he tells his friends in 10 years, but I respect the hell out of this kid's grind. He knew immediately that the drink didn't taste right and just rode through it to see what happened.
Almost a guarantee that I would have engaged in conversation with the wall too. They're so engaging when you're shitfaced.
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