Being Over Polite Eventually Leads To You Not Being Very Polite

"You go first"

"No, you go ahead"

"No, I insist you go"

We've all been there. Just trying to outshine that other dude in the elevator with that cute chick stuck in the middle. Clearly she's going first, but who's next is the real issue. And by issue I mean catastrophe. Dudes have been known to squabble about who leaves first for, at times, three minutes. Three soul crushing minutes of dick-swinging and overall confusion. After like 15 seconds the person who goes first is definitely the asshole and no one wants that. At this point the elevator door closes and reopens probably 4 times and it's becoming ridiculous. Shit happens all the time and there's nothing to do about it.

Solution: be ok with being a dick, push the girl/old lady/child out the way and get where you got to get to faster than the next person.