Wait, Someone Won The $380 Million Dollar Mega Millions Jackpot?

Really? Fuck. Plans have changed. Now I need to call Craw and tell him to cancel that yacht order before his BoA account gets overdrafted.

Sure I was a little cocky when I assumed I was going to win the jackpot with 1 : 178 million odds, but come on now. Find the middle ground one time jackpot. It's either a poor slack-jawed yokel or someone who's like, "Well I'm rich, but who couldn't use an extra 380 million. LOL." Another year, another realization that I'm probably going to have a job this year.

Had tons of plans for mini-giraffes, Taj Mahal rentals, having Victoria's Secret Models serenading me with "Tik Tok" to replace my alarm clock, and probably getting a solid haircut. All down the drain. Thanks Lotto.