$600 For This Children's Shirt? Reasonably Concerning

As a parent, if you buy your child this shirt you deserve to get forcibly placed into a time capsule and buried deep underground to never be seen again. And once you're found, there needs to be some sort of sign with a picture of this shirt and an explanation that you purchased this for your child.

A fate worse than death if you ask me. But really consumers? A kid's shirt with boob tassels? You can't give this shirt to a little girl because that's just offensive and in bad taste, so your only option is giving this to a little boy. It's the biggest lose-lose situation since LeBron James to the Miami Heat (ba-ZING). You got your boy looking like a bad joke with tassels on his chest just giggling like there isn't anything wrong.

Oh there's something wrong, son. Wait until you see those photo albums like 10 years from now. It'll be one of those awkward moments when you knock on your parent's bedroom door with that weird face on--that combination of concerned/scared/confused. You'll go in with picture in hand, and Mom and Dad will have nothing to say. Nothing. They'll be speechless for about an hour and will eventually apologize.

I see no other options as a parent. But as the saying goes, "If you get your kid a $600 nipple tassel t-shirt for Christmas, you'll probably end up buried in a time capsule."