"You Look Like The Exact Personification Of A Cupcake."

--> Portrait of G on a Tuesday evening

So I'm not sure what to make of a world where the creepy middle-aged man checking me out as I walk to my T-stop doesn't hit me with any normal creepy slurred pick-up line, but instead, looks at me once, does a double take, then says, in complete seriousness, and actually kind of happily, seeming amazed at his profound discovery, "You look like the exact personification of a cupcake."

Well, thank God... I don't know what I'd do if I was the INEXACT personification of a cupcake. But seriously. This is not a comment I was prepared for. Let me review my fashion choices of the evening: going to the gym, wearing black yoga pants, sneakers, and an admittedly nice light purple hoodie from Victoria's Secret. But still... a hoodie.  I didn't feel like a cupcake.

I guess I didn't seem as thrilled about my newfound cupcake identity as our new friend anticipated. He seemed to think he had cleared something up for me that I probably always wondered about, that he and I were communicating and I just wasn't getting it.

"No," he said, "I mean like, a GOOD one."

He was completely serious. He was not leering with sexual innuendo (though we can clearly all draw the obvious one), and I think he just really thought, in that moment, that there was only one exact personification of a cupcake, and I was it. It was all very clear to him. And what's more, I was a GOOD cupcake.

So, creepy street man, you are still creepy as hell, but I think you win this one, simply because I can't remember the last time I've been as sure about anything as you are that I am a cupcake personified.

The exact personification of a cupcake.... Okay. Fine. I'll take it.