This Was Never About Pocahontas

What's the real spirit of Thanksgiving? Though Craw's portrait of completely awkward and almost unbearable family encounters was close, and Dub Jeezy's noting of the ridiculousness of the Energizer Bunny still being on Parade for no reason whatsoever was absolutely on point, I think we all know what Thanksgiving is about.

It could be football. It could be excessive amounts of unhealthy food. It could be a celebration of some assholes in black and white frocks stealing Pocahontas's land so she could never paint with all the colors of the wind. (I mean, I can't. Can you?)

(Is that tear black? What is going on?!?)

Though it COULD be all of those things... the real reason for the season is and always has been shopping. Not just regular shopping... shopping to the death. At midnight. Or 4am. Depending on how zealous your store is. Thanksgiving is all just preparation. For Black Friday shopping, and then for total consumer pandemonium right up until the birth of Christ.

What can you really say about our society as a whole when a GOOD Black Friday for a typical retailer is one in which no customer gets trampled? "Way to go, guys!! No one DIED trying to get a discounted toaster today!" Yep, that about sums it up for our country. And Thanksgiving. 

Seeeeee ya, placeholder Holiday. Bring on Santa Clause. 

P.S. Does Pocahontas count as a Disney princess? I mean, she was a princess, technically...