Researchers Prove That Better Flirting Produces..Umm..Better Results

^I flirt my ASS off on the reg and believe me, it has never involved discussing the Eiffel Tower and/or holding a wine glass ever so eloquently.

So these crack researchers went ahead and decided that if you flirt better you will receive better results on the game field. Thank god for these guys, you know. I've had multiple instances where I've been out and wondering how to go about things. Like, should I try to be interesting and listen to what she has to say? Or should I just go up to girls and sing the chorus of Akon ft. Snoop Dogg's "I Wanna **** You" directly to their face? According to these "scientists", I should probably be "that" guy girls want to talk to.

Seriously Kansas researchers? Is the well running bone dry in the realm of research projects or something? Tell me something I don't know. Maybe straight facts about the correlation between my flirting methods and life expectancy. Some enlightening shit would be to find out if the 2 hours I wasted dancing to Taio Cruz and Usher would eventually lead to my quicker death.

Let me kick a little knowledge backatcha Kansas research team. Flirting is directly related to a video game. Hear me out here. Every step is like a level. The eye contact and conversation initiation is equivalent to sacking up and spending $60 on that game you want. The next level, otherwise known as "basic conversation" is an easy stage that routinely gets overlooked. Kind of like that first level in Mario where you randomly just fall down a hole because you timed your jump wrong. That's followed by "getting let in" as I like to call it. Once you're let in, you're free to dance or seek some privacy in a "quieter part" of the bar to continue more in-depth conversation. So on and so forth it goes until you reach the Bowser/Koopa/Hooking up level.

Just comparing hooking up and Super Mario Brothers..that's what we do over here.